Identity Crisis
by The Real Christine Daae
Summary: Once again, I have bended to the requests of the readers. I have re-written the second installment of this to make it a bit longer. Enjoy!
1. Identity Crisis

Identity Crisis:

The characters of POTO are just slightly confused as to their real roles and identities, a confusion caused by the indecision's and differentiating opinions of the writers of phantom phictions. Poor little creatures... the disasters we put them through! Muahahahahahaaa!

Note Any 'gay bashing' in here is completely out of fun and jest. My best friends are all gay so I mean nothing harmful by it!

Madame Butterfly: Thank you for the typo correction. I've fixed it!

Christine: "It simply isn't fair. Those writers are always confusing me."

Raoul: "Tell me about it, I never know just how my character's role is suppose to be played. One minute I'm spouting sonnets and the next moment they have me hanging in a noose by my neck!"

Erik: "Yes, I agree. I for one am sick to death of the writers taking advantage of us all!"

Christine: "What are you talking about Erik? Everyone loves you no matter what. The writers and readers alike are all on your side."

Meg: "Oh shush. You guys are always complaining, but what about me? I've been made out to be everything from a ditzy young blonde, to an evil seductress looking for trouble around every corner. And besides, you guys get all the writing time. I'm hardly mentioned."

Raoul: "And rightly so, you are only a secondary character. Why should you be put into the spotlight."

Mme. Giry: "My daughter has every right to be upset about her down-casting in these phics. Look at what they do to me. I've been written to be this cold-hearted witch who gets off on bossing around the ballet rats and wearing black. Oh, and they always assume that I know some darker secrets about Erik than I let on to."

Erik: "But you DO know some darker secrets about me, remember?"

Mme. Giry: ::smiles:: "Yes, well, let them think what they want I suppose. I'm not one to blab secrets around."

Andre: "What I want to know is, what on earth gave them the idea that Firmin and I are gay?"

Firmin: "You might not be, but I most certainly am. And I do have the hots for you!"

Andre: ::scoots away:: "Ummm, anyway. They make us out to be imbeciles. Honestly, we can't be that dumb if we can manage to run an opera."

Erik: "Sure you can. After all, it is I who runs this opera and you are that dumb. Only an absolute fool would be stupid enough to believe that a ghost is real and then be even stupider to pay that ghost a salary!"

Nadir: "And what the heck is it with people always making me out to be some nosey know-it-all who doesn't know how to stay out of other people's business? I mean, c'mon, I'm not that bad am I?"

::All look at him seriously::

Nadir: "Ok Ok, so maybe I find other peoples lives more interesting than my own. ::stares sadly into his lap:: I cant help it."

Carlotta: "At least none of you have the complex of being a fat cow. I am skinny and I sing beautifully!"

Erik: "Carlotta, I think your nose is growing..."

Carlotta: "Hmm? What was that, Erik?"

Erik: "Nevermind..."

Piangi: "I don't think you are fat and you don't sing like a cow."

Raoul: "No, she doesn't. I've heard cows sing and all they do is Mooooo mooo moooooo."

Erik: "Thank you Fop for that wonderful insight."

Christine: "Please please, can we focus on me for a minute?"

::all sigh::

Raoul, "Of course my dear, lets talk about you all you want."

Erik: ::Cough:: "Suck up!"

Raoul: ::sneers at him::

Christine: "I don't understand what people want of me half the time. One minute I'm in love with Raoul, and the next I'm supposed to be in love with Erik. I never know what I'm supposed to be doing in a scene. Maybe that's why people make me out to be such a ditz."

Meg: "Well, you are blonde.."

Christine: "I am??? I thought I was a brunette with green eyes!"

Erik: "Only in some phics my dear. But in a lot of them you are blonde with blue eyes."

Christine: "Oh no! I thought for sure I was a brunette. Wait, maybe I am a blonde! Help! I'm confused again!" ::starts crying::

Erik: "Its alright darling." ::pats her head:: "I'm confused sometimes too. The writers cant get it straight just how deformed my face is. Sometimes they say its only half my face, others think it's the whole thing. I never know just what mask to wear, And my eyes have been described to be every color from gold to bright blue. Come to think of it, what color are my eyes?"

Raoul: "I know my eyes are usually green with jealousy. But at least I'm described to have pretty eyes so I guess it doesn't matter."

Erik: "Again, thank you for that insight that we really didn't need."

Raoul: "And what about me? The writers all think that I'm some sort of goodie-two-shoes fop who loves to do girly things."

Erik: ::CoughCough::

Raoul: ::glares at Erik again:: "I'm serious. How on earth can I be such a debonair Viscount and come to the girls' rescue if I'm a spineless twit who's more concerned with his dashingly good looks?"

Erik: "I don't know, it's a mystery."

Christine: "I think you are handsome, Raoul. But is it true what they write about you?"

Raoul: "What do you mean?"

Christine: "Well, about the pink tutu? Do you really wear one when nobody is looking?"

Raoul: ::Ahem:: "Darn those writers for confusing us all like this! I demand justice!"

Carlotta: "I say we all go on strike unless the writers are more kind to us!"

Christine: "I can't go on strike. I'd lose my position as prima donna on the stage if I did that."

Carlotta: "You can't lose what you never had my little limping sparrow."

Erik: "Watch it Carlotta... or else!"

Carlotta: "Or else what? You'll come after me? I'll just sic Piangi on you if you do!"

Piangi: "Yes, Carlotta. Do you want me to pummel him?"

Erik: "I hardly think that a pummeling is possible with you. You might just sit on me and be done with it. Besides, it wouldn't be a fair fight, seeing as how your neck is so thick I probably couldn't get my punjab lasso around your fat head!"

Piangi: "I beg your pardon!"

Erik: "Yes, you'll have to beg that from me."

Nadir: "Would all of you stop bickering and fighting! We're supposed to be arguing about the writers here!"

Meg: "I agree! We need to decide what to do!"

Mme. Giry: "Why don't we come up with some kind of character regulation requirement form so they have to follow it every time and stop confusing us characters."

Andre: "I agree completely. They make too many variations on us. We need a raise if they are going to put us through that much aggravation and trouble."

Erik: "I don't see why you are complaining that much. Your character doesn't change much at all. You aren't even in most of the phics unless they need someone to organize a mob to come after me."

Firmin: "Speaking of which, Andre. Don't we still need to pay the mob for the last midnight raid of the opera cellars?"

Andre: "I'm choosing to ignore that right now."

Firmin: "But wont the mob come after us?"

Andre: "Shut up you! I'm the one who does the thinking around here!"

Erik: "Or lack thereof..."

Meg: "Well, we simply must do something. I need to know how old I am. I don't even know how many candles to put on my cake. Everyone says I'm anywhere from 16 to 20."

Erik: "At least you know in which decade you were born. I hate it when the writers cant make up their minds as to whether I'm in my mid fifties or early twenties."

Raoul: "Yes, that's especially bad in those phics that place us in the future. I mean, can you honestly see us all attending high school together?"

Erik: "Yes, those time switching phics can be a bit annoying at times. Why is it that so many female writers have some strange girl traveling back in time to be with me or change things? Heck! Why is it that writers have me falling in love with other women in the first place? Doesn't that sort of demean my love for Christine? Honestly I don't see what ladies see in me. I'm hideous remember?"

Christine: ::sighs:: "Because they are jealous of me."

Raoul: "Why is nobody jealous of me? They never write phics of other girls coming after me. What does Erik have that I don't?"

Erik: "Well, besides a great singing voice, seductive mannerisms, dressing in a black tuxedo all the time, living on a lake underground, being enormously talented..."

Raoul: "Alright alright. None of us need to hear of your enormous talent..."

Christine: "Speak for yourself Fop!"

Raoul: "Hey! You just called me a Fop!"

Christine: "Sorry, couldn't help myself. Erik just reminded me again of how deliciously sexy he is."

Meg: "Christine, is he really that sexy?"

Christine: "Umm, yes he is. You can have Raoul though. I think the two of you will be cute together."

Meg: "Whoo hoo!"

Raoul: "That wont work remember? The writers have always tried to get that to happen and it never works out. At least not that I remember. Wait, Meg, have we ever worked it out together?"

Meg: "I don't know but we could give it another shot."

Carlotta: "Why don't I ever get a second choice in the matter? I'm always stuck with Piangi. When are they going to write a phic about me and another man?"

Erik: "They wont, because no other man in his right mind would be with you."

Carlotta: "Hey!!! That was mean!"

Mme. Giry: "Can we please get back to the matter at hand? You fools keep bickering like a bunch of old ladies!"

Firmin: "Well, you are an old lady so at least one of us has the right to bicker!"

Mme. Giry: "How dare you call me old you worthless stupid gay idiot!"

Firmin: "Now that was hitting below the belt!"

Andre: "I didn't think you wore a belt because of the extra two seconds it takes to get it off when..."

Meg: "Ewwww! I don't want to hear this! My poor virgin ears!"

Nadir: "From what I hear, your ears are the only thing 'virgin' about you!"

Meg: ::slaps Nadir:: "I resent that!"

Nadir: "No, you resemble that!"

Erik: "You are all behaving like monsters! I thought I was the only one entitled to doing that!"

Christine: "Well that depends entirely on who is doing the writing. Sometimes you can be very sweet and loving!"

Erik: "Me? Sweet? Never! I think I should go on strike. I'm supposed to be the bad boy in all of this!"

Christine: "Ooh yes! Be a bad boy! Be a bad boy!"

Raoul: "Christine, my darling, how can you talk like this about him?

Christine: "Oh shut up you fop! You know its really him I love."

Raoul: "But what about all those stories you run away with me in?"

Christine: "You know they were just stories and I certainly didn't write the outcome. I was just acting and you know it!"

Raoul: :: slaps her:: "Then I was just acting too! I didn't really just slap you, you little tramp!"

Christine: ::slaps him back harder:: "I'm the better actor though! Wasn't that a great performance?"

Erik: "Bravo Christine!" ::claps enthusiastically:: "Your best performance to date!"

::meanwhile Mme. Giry and the managers are still arguing::

Mme. Giry: "I do not wear black underwear! You guys are totally sick! Just because the writers make me wear this stupid black dress all the time!"

Firmin: "What are you going to do? Hit me with your long staff? Ooh I'm really scared! C'mon hit me!"

Andre: ::Grabs her staff and hits him with it:: "That's for calling me fat! You limp-wristed jerk!"

Firmin: "Ouch! I thought you cared about me Andre! Well nevermind that apology! I'm calling the mob and telling them you wont pay them their salary, but you're paying a ghost instead!"

Andre: "You wouldn't dare!"

Firmin: "Mob! Come quick! Your cheapskate manager is refusing your salary!"

::in comes the mob with pitchforks and torches::

Erik, Christine, Raoul, and the rest of the cast: "Oh Crap! It's the Mob! Run for your lives!!!!!"

::They run off into the distance, avoiding the angry mob::

Seeing as how the Characters never resolved their solution to the writers abuse of them, they continue to be our slaves and we writers can happily do whatever we want to them.

The end.


	2. Identity Crisis Continues

_At your request... A sequel!_

_After the not-so-nice mob came after our beloved characters, they miraculously turned on the angry townspeople, stealing their torches and pitchforks, beating them back into the shadows from whence they came. Then they re-grouped back at the opera, now with a vengeance!!!_

Raoul: "We showed them didn't we?" ::shaking a long staff in the air::

Christine: ::holding a shovel:: "Yeah! That's the last time they try to chase us into a river to drown. That would have been a horrible ending! (shameless miff on Lon Chaney ending)

Meg: ::panting:: "Where the heck did they come from anyway?"

Andre: ::catching his breath doubled over his knees:: "Ask Firmin! He's the one who made them to come after us!"

Firmin: "I protest! It was the writer again! I had no control over what I said! You see why we have to go on strike or this abuse will never end!"

Erik: "Oh sure! Blame the writer for everything, you sad excuse for a manager. You are so used to not being able to make a single thought for yourself, that now you are actually claiming that none of your thoughts or actions are you own!"

Mme. Giry: "No, Erik. He can make decisions on his own. They just all suck so he's got to blame someone. And if it were the writer making him an idiot, it's because our stories need some kind of comic relief!"

Erik: "I thought that's what Raoul was for..."

Raoul: "I don't need relief. What did you mean by that?"

Erik: "Its not you that's funny in particular. It's what I do to you that's so funny!"

Christine: "Oh Erik, please stop picking on him. Its not his fault he's a dumb rich Fop."

Erik: "Why not? It's fun to pick on Fop Boy."

Christine: "Because we need to focus and figure out what to do about the writers abusing us they way they do."

Nadir: "I agree. Something must be done!"

Carlotta: "Yes! I'm tired of being made fun of! And my poor Piangi! He doesn't know whether to be dead or alive in half these stories. And I don't like the idea of being tied to someone who dies every other story."

Piangi: "I'm dead?"

Erik: "No, you're not dead at the moment, but I can take care of that for you quite easily..."

Andre: "Everyone stop bickering like a bunch of old ladies!" ::Hard glance at Mme. Giry:: "Christine is right, we need to decide what to do."

Firmin: "Don't you idiots realize it? We can't decide what to do. We don't have the power to make decisions on our own! The writers make us say and do everything they want! Without them, we wouldn't exist!"

Raoul: "What are you raving about?"

Firmin: "See! A writer made you say that! A writer is making me say this! At this very moment, one of the writers is making me say every little word I'm saying!"

Meg: "I think he's lost his mind!"

Nadir: "I don't think he has a mind to lose. He is management after all."

Christine: "Huh?"

Nadir: "I think he might actually be right. I mean, how else would we be put through all this stuff without a choice? We must not have any control in this whatsoever!"

Firmin: "I have an idea! Everyone freeze! Nobody talk or move or even think! Let's see them make us do something now!"

_Everyone does as they are told and stand perfectly still trying not to think or talk._

Carlotta: ::through her clenched teeth:: "This is stupid. How long do we have to stay here like this?"

Firmin: "Forever! Now Shhh!"

_Several minutes pass._

Andre: "This is pointless! Everyone unfreeze. Even if we are trying to do nothing, it's the writer who's making us do that nothing."

Erik: ::hits Raoul with a board with a nail in it::

Raoul: "OUCH! What the heck did you do that for?"

Erik: "I didn't do it on purpose. The writer made me do it!"

Raoul: ::Bashes Erik over the head with his pole:: "Yeah, I didn't have any control over that either!"

Christine: ::smacks both of them in the back of the head:: "Neither did I!"

_Just then, in a booming voice, the almighty writer intercedes before a bloody war starts!_

Writer: "Stop fighting all of you! I can't have my characters beating each other senseless if I am to continue using you!"

Mme. Giry: "Where did that voice come from?"

Writer: "Never mind that! And pay no attention to the person behind the box 5 curtains!"

Raoul: "Hey, I know what that line is from! It's from the..."

Writer: "...next person who interrupts me will be cut from the script!"

ALL: "Eeep!"

Writer: "Now that's better! You all think you are so incredibly confused from what we writers make you do, huh?"

Erik: "Yes we are. We are tired of the abuse. I'm tired of being made to fall in love with someone other than Christine or see her run off with Fop Boy!"

Writer: "Ah, but you see, that is completely our prerogative. We can do whatever we want with you! That's what makes it fun for us."

Christine: "So when we do get to have fun? How do we decide what we want without your control?"

Writer: "You don't! In fact, since you were all griping about being confused about your true characters, I'm going to have a little fun!"

All: ::gasp:: "What are you going to do?

Writer: "Muahahahahaaaaaaaa!"

_In a large poof of smoke, the writer disappeared and left the characters coughing in the clearing air._

Erik: ::coughing:: "What the heck just happened? Whose voice was that?"

Christine: "Was it the Angel of Music? Wait, Angel! Come back!"

Erik: "Christine dear, that's me you are thinking of, and I'm right here in front of you."

Christine: "Where? I don't see you anywhere."

_The remaining smoke lifts and all stare at each other in disbelief._

Christine: "Why am I wearing a tuxedo?"

Erik: "Why am I so short and wearing a tutu!"

All: "Auuuuggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

_(little explanation here: Erik in Megs body, Christine in Erik's, Raoul in Carlotta's, Meg in Mme. Giry's, Mme. Giry in Piangi's, Andre in Firmin's, Firmin in Andre's, Carlotta in Christine's, Piangi in Raoul's, and Nadir in his own)_

Christine: "Oh no! I just realized! I have Erik's face. I'm ugly!"

Erik: "Welcome to my world sweetheart!"

Christine: "Oh Erik, I'm sorry..."

Raoul: "We've all switched bodies! My God Carlotta! Your need to lose some weight I feel like I'm going to suffocate in this body!"

Erik: "Why am I in Meg's body? Is this some sort of sick justice because I played pranks on the ballet rats all those times?"

Meg: "If this is justice, then I certainly don't deserve this! How on earth did I end up my mother's body?"

Mme. Giry: "You should complain. I'm stuck in this fat idiot's nasty body. Someone get me out quick! I'm starting to miss my black dress!"

Piangi: "I'm not complaining! I'm gorgeous! Holy cow! I can see my...!"

Carlotta: "I'm not complaining either. Look how young and beautiful I am! Wait, I just called Christine beautiful! Ahem, I mean, naturally you can now see how similar we both are in grace and beauty."

Nadir: "Hey wait a minute! I'm still in my own body. How come I didn't change at all?"

Andre: "Guess you aren't important enough."

Nadir: "I never get to have any fun."

Andre: "You call this fun? I'm stuck in Firmin's body and only God knows where it's been."

Firmin: "If you'd like a detailed list, I'll be sure to leave one in your coat pocket!"

Christine: "Wait a second! I'm the luckiest girl alive! Look at me! I'm in Erik's body! Look Erik, I'm touching you in ways I've never done before or dared to dream!"

Erik: "Figures you'd wait to do that until I was out of my body. Damn!"

Raoul: "Christine, stop that! Quit touching his legs!"

Christine: "But their MY legs now aren't they! Touch touch touch touch!"

Erik: "Please Christine, can't you wait to do that until I'm back in my body? I'll let you touch me all you want I promise."

Christine: "Then it wouldn't be as much fun because I'd be allowed to. Ooh! Man you have a nice butt!" ::squeezes a cheek to test it::

Raoul: "Christine, if you don't stop doing that right now I'm going to have to use Carlotta's fat butt and sit on your hands to keep them to yourself."

Christine: "But I am keeping them to myself! They're my hands now!"

Erik: "You will do nothing to ruin my beautiful hands, fop! God only knows that if her body sat on them I'd never play another thing again!"

Raoul: "Ooh! Even more reason to do it!"

Erik: "That's it!" ::Starts for Raoul in Carlotta's body::

Meg: "Erik, if you must fight, please don't rip my tights! They're my best pair!"

Erik: "I'll try not to. But honestly how can you wear this damn leotard. It's itching and keeps riding up my butt!"

Meg: ::shrugs:: "Speaking of that, mother, you should be ashamed of what you've got under this dress! Where on earth did you get such a thing anyways?"

Mme. Giry: "I can't tell you, you're too young. Just do me a favor and don't show the world. At least I wear underwear! Piangi! Do you go commando all the time? I've heard that it's more comfortable for large people to go without but this feels disgusting. Why did I have to be changed into a man? And _that_ man in the first place? Piangi? Are you even listening to me?"

_Carlotta and Piangi are making out in Raoul and Christine's bodies._

Christine: "Ewww! Don't make me kiss the fop! I'm feeling dirty just watching myself be violated like that! Does that mean that Piangi really has the hots for me and Carlotta has the hots for Raoul?"

Raoul: "God I hope not! Carlotta, if you do one thing to mess up my hair while you're kissing him, uh, I mean me, I'll take off all these clothes so everyone can see your nasty naked body!"

Carlotta: "You wouldn't!"

Raoul: "Try me!"

Christine: "Erik, please do something, Raoul, I mean, Piangi is messing up my makeup and Carlotta is abusing my beauty."

Erik: "What do you want me to do about it? I'm wearing this stupid tutu, and I'm smaller, and even in your body, Carlotta could still try to squish me."

Christine: "Are you calling me fat?"

Erik: "No! Hardly!"

Christine: "Good, because if you were, I'd have to take off this mask in front of everyone!"

Erik: "No!"

Christine: "Would you rather I take off all your clothes?" ::hopeful smile::

Erik: "Please don't! Save that for when we're alone, then you can take all my clothes off."

Nadir: "Hey, Writer, C'mon change me into someone! I want to play this game too!"

Andre: "I can't believe I'm in a gay body. Oh well, at least I'm thinner."

Firmin: "God, Andre. You need to lose some weight! You are so fat and ugly I doubt I'll ever get another date!"

Andre: "I thought just awhile ago you were saying you had the hots for me."

Firmin: "Change of perspective. I can't think that way about my own body."

Andre: "That's not your body! That's my body and I want it back!"

Meg: "And I'm old! God I want my own body back! No more wrinkles for me!"

Mme. Giry: "Excuse me? I don't have wrinkles. Those are beauty lines."

Erik: "I'll give you some beauty lines..."

Carlotta: "I think I'll keep this body. I like feeling this light."

Christine: "Oh no you don't! Give it back!"

Carlotta: ::dancing away from her:: "I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and ..."

Andre: "Gay! I'm in a gay body! I'm never going to live this down so help me..."

Erik: "God! I'm about to rip this stupid leotard off if it doesn't stop riding up my..."

Meg: "Ask me if I care! You better not! Mom will see my..."

Raoul: "Breasts! I've got breasts! Man their huge! They'd be better if they were attached to something..."

Piangi: "Pretty! I'm too much of a pretty boy in this Fops body! When I get out of here I'm going to eat a whole..."

Mme. Giry: "Pig! Piangi you are a fat disgusting pig. It no wonder why you sweat to death when you cross the stage. Maybe if you lost some weight, the ladies in the audience would find a fraction of you to be..."

Christine: "Sexy! Erik you have an amazing body! Do you work out and jog by the lake when I'm not there? I'll bet you could pose in the centerfold of something..."

Firmin: "Naughty! That's what I can't wait to be again. I'm going to run out and be naughty instead of boring old..."

Nadir: "Me. Why does it always have to be me who gets left out of things? Everyone else gets to have fun in the stories.

Erik: "Alright enough of this!"

Andre: "I quite agree! I want my own body back!"

Meg: "And how the heck do you propose we do that? Shall we just slam our bodies together into one big mess and hope that our souls get jolted back into place?"

Nadir: "It could work.."

All: "Shut up Nadir!"

Mme. Giry: "This doesn't concern you!"

Nadir: "Geez! I was just trying to help, but since you wont let me, I'm going to go sit over there and be by myself!"

Raoul: "Good riddance!"

Erik: "Now where is that writer? How did we get them to come here in the first place? What were we all doing?"

Christine: "We were all arguing about stuff."

Carlotta: "Well that doesn't help much. We've been doing nothing but arguing since before and after they changed us."

Piangi: "Carlotta my dear, its alright. I don't really care to be changed back anyway. Lets just go."

Raoul: "Oh no you don't! Not with my body, you're not going anywhere!" ::Throws a punch at him using Carlotta's beefy arm::

_Piangi, in Raoul's body, falls to the ground, knocked unconscious by the powerful punch._

Raoul: "Wow I don't know my own strength! Well, I guess that would be Carlotta's strength. Oh no! What have I done? My face! My beautiful beautiful face! It's ruined!"

_Piangi is now sporting a black eye._

Carlotta: "Serves you right for hitting my beloved Piangi! Maybe I'll give your girlfriend here one to match!" ::with that she punches herself in the eye, knocking herself out::

Firmin: "Well, no great loss there."

Christine: "My eye! Erik, look what she did to my eye!"

Erik: "I'll kill her! I'll kill her!" ::walks over and starts to strangle Raoul in her body::

Raoul: ::kicks Erik in the shin:: "Quit choking me! I'm not her!"

Erik: "Ouch! That hurt! That's going to leave a nasty bruise!"

Meg: "Oh great, thanks!" ::Hits Erik over the head with her mother's staff:: "Hey wait! I'm hurting my own body!"

Mme. Giry: "Thanks Meg, you broke my staff!"

Meg: "Sorry! But you saw what he was trying to do!"

Nadir: "You are all acting like a bunch if imbeciles!"

Andre: "Nobody asked your opinion, once again!" ::takes a swing at him::

Nadir: "Whoa! That wasn't necessary!"

Firmin: "You are always trying to butt in on other people's business! You are still in your own body! Be glad for that!"

Nadir: "You have all lost your minds!"

Erik: "We have? Have we?"

Nadir: "Well, you've always been a bit on the loony side, but now you're absolutely nuts!"

Erik: "That's it!" ::starts at him with the Punjab lasso he takes from Christine::

_Seeing that the fun could continue for hours, but would eventually end up in a bloody demise from them all killing each other, the Writer comes back in to the scene to change them back. POOF_

Writer: "So, are you all through complaining?"

All: "Yes! Please change us back!"

Writer: "Maybe now you will complain less about the stories we writers so lovingly and creatively create for each others enjoyment. Look at it this way, as long as we keep writing stories with you in it, you still exist and stay famous."

Erik: "Well, you've got a point. I guess its not so bad to have a little variety. Besides, without the Phans, I would always be left alone without Christine at the end of the story."

Writer: "Alright. I guess you have all learned your lesson to stop whining about your lot in life."

_And with that, the writer magically transformed them all back into their normal selves. POOF_

_When the smoke cleared and they were all back to their own bodies, there was much rejoicing and dancing in the streets and they all swore never to complain again. (Except of course about phics written based on Phantom of Manhattan)._

The End.


End file.
